FIXING A WATER BUTT HOSE: THE TALE OF BARRY, TWINE, AND TRIUMPH

Front view of black water butt connected to a greenhouse, showing the outlet tap and full body profile.

We regret to inform readers that Barry’s initial performance was, by his own admission, a little underwhelming. The connection hose—thin, brittle, barely up to the task — was cruelly split by a jubilee clip in what can only be described as a tragic act of early optimism. Emergency measures were taken: twine was applied, muttered apologies exchanged, dignity somewhat preserved.

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WHO’S PEEING ON MY ROSES — IT’S ONLY MAY!

(Originally sparked by a gardening forum grumble and now shouted into the drizzle for all late-blooming roses everywhere.)

Close-up of Rosa ‘Gertrude Jekyll’ in full bloom, vibrant pink petals densely layered.

Every single year.
You’re minding your own business, nursing your garden back to life after winter, when someone posts a photo of their roses—in full, brazen bloom—and there you are, standing in the drizzle, staring at a thorny twig and wondering if you’ve somehow offended the gods.

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